Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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