Barsexuality is the new black.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
