dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your penis caused this!
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