I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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