Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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