WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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