i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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