It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
