she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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