Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
