I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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