At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
