So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
