he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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