Can i not drive my cunt home
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize