My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
