Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
