ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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