I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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