i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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