If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
