Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
