Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
