He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
