maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
