There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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