i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
His nipple licking is glorious
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