That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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