Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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