I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize