PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize