I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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