how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
