Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my shit smells like andre
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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