No stitches, just platelets and will power
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
