Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
