Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize