I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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