He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
