Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
