i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
