Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
