Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
