just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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