my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
