Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
