Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
