After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
