i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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