I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
