you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
