Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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