Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
