her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
