so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize