Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
