he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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